City of North Miami Beach - Welcome to the Circus
Ladies and Gentlemen, Children of All Ages. Welcome to the Final Show of the North Miami Beach Public Circus!
I would like to introduce the three circus clowns who were forced to show up thanks to a court order. These three clowns have spent the past four months disrespecting the residents of North Miami Beach and making a fool of everyone in this beautiful city that we share.
The North Miami Beach Public Circus has had many magical sideshows featuring some of the most baffling clowns on earth.
I would like to introduce the former city manager, Arthur “Duke” Sorey III, who is a master of prestidigitation through gross mismanagement and outright corruption. Duke’s greatest skill is redirection and claiming ignorance. Duke’s mastery of smoke and mirrors has allowed him to drain the city’s financial reserves while giving the impression that the city is moving forward in a positive way. In reality, we were being robbed blind.
A master magician like Duke cannot function properly without a huge cast of under-qualified family and friends … of course with huge salaries that were billed to the taxpayers of North Miami Beach. Duke’s power of mismanagement is so great that you did not even feel the few dollars a week he has taken out of each of our wallets.
Finally, one of Duke’s most underappreciated talents is the ability to ignore emails, especially when they involve holding his chosen clowns accountable or his attempts to skew an election.
I would like to introduce the astonishing Michael “Two Face” Joseph, who claims to love transparency but in reality, is as transparent as a piece of granite.
One of the other mystical talents of the astonishing Two Face Joseph is his ability to become invisible. If you had watched previous airings of the North Miami Beach Public Circus, you would have seen an empty seat where his nameplate was placed, specifically the December, January, and February performances. The last time Michael Joseph was seen since he discovered his amazing powers of invisibility was on October, 18, 2022. Amazing!
Now, Michael Joseph may try to convince you that he is not in violation of the North Miami Beach Charter by claiming that the timer started when he missed his first meeting in December of 2022.
However, let me ask you a question. If you skip breakfast this morning, when was the last time you ate? Would you say it was last night’s dinner? Or foolishly claim it was the breakfast you didn’t eat? Michael is trying to say the latter.
Speaking of skipping meals, we turn now to someone who has never skipped one in his life. Especially when he’s not paying the check.
I would like to now introduce the bodacious McKenzie Fleurimond. Many would wrongfully assume that he is a fantastic puppet master, but in an amazing twist, he is actually the puppet. I bet you did not see that one coming!
McKenzie may sound like he is an intelligent human. However most quickly see through the sham after listening to him for a few moments. If you can hold back your laughter at some of the insane things that come out of his mouth, you will see him for what he really is … Michael Joseph’s puppet.
Unfortunately, for this ventriloquist dummy, he also is in violation of the City Charter for not sitting through a meeting since October of 2022. He may have made an appearance at the December 20, 2022 meeting, but his attendance didn’t count that night when he walked out before any business could be conducted.
Next up is the mysterious Daniela Jean, Mistress of the House of Mirrors. Daniela’s mirrors are designed to disorientate and deceive her victims. With carefully placed mirrors, she can change her shape and size at a moment’s notice. Sometimes she appears without a facemask when it’s an event to promote herself, but magically dons the facemask when she wants to hide from accountability.
Her mastery of mirrors allows her to act cripplingly sick when it’s convenient for her controllers, while allowing her to attend parties shortly after. Daniela Jean openly admits that the notorious Paule Villard was one of her role models and that’s no joke. Paule Villard was a witch who used her magic to travel across the world on the taxpayer dime by simply waving her magical P-Card. After Paule Villard was vanquished in November, Daniela carried on the legacy of Paule Villard by using her P-Card to travel and pay for shady art projects.
Fortunately, the ring leader of this circus, Hans Ottinot, took it upon himself to resign last week. Many assume he was tired of being turned into a meme for running away from news cameras, but we really know he was running from accountability and transparency. He realized that due to his spotty workmanship, his circus tent was about to collapse, and his schemes were about to be exposed.
Another sideshow act not to be missed were the Krazy Kaplans, who expected the North Miami Beach circus clowns to pay for the hole in the roof of their circus tent. I am not certain why Paule and now Michael kept cruelly stringing them along, while promising to fix the hole, but the Krazy Kaplans are simply not smart enough to know that they’re just useful idiots.
I mean, if the former city manager allows for $7,000 a month to be spent on a once a week radio show, there is nothing stopping him from cutting a check for the circus tent roof repairs if he really wanted to.
To all the other clowns and puppets that will hopefully be leaving this city soon, I hope you make better choices in the future. Instead of aligning yourselves with corruption, I hope you choose to take the ethical path in the future. The Family and Friends program always carries the risk that your position may be questioned as soon as the clowns who hired you are exposed for who and what they are. Do you really want to be associated with that? You know what the former city manager says… “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”.
Again, thank you for attending the final show of the North Miami Beach Circus.
Keith Iokepa Myers