PSA To All Who Plan To Cook A Turkey In 2021

Thanksgiving comes at least once a year and it is normally a stressful time for the cooks in your family, especially in 2021 where you will likely need to serve your turkey over a Zoom conference call unless you are vaccinated and dare venture into the airport. While most chefs are able to cook a tasty turkey every year,, most people forget to  download the latest firmware updates for the Turkey before running it through the O.V.En build system. Many feel this process is intimidating and difficult but it is worth it for a moist and flavorful turkey. Here is a guide to update your turkey with the latest 2021.4 firmware

The vendors of most turkeys advise that failure to follow all instructions may result in uneven cooking, astringent aftertaste, lost screws or dry white meat.

The Latest Drivers and Firmware can be obtained from your Turkey Supplier’s website and are normally available as a free download. If you have purchased a Turkey that includes the E.A. Games Sample Pack, you will need to create a account and purchase the OEM Flavor DLC if you wish your Turkey to include any taste. You may follow the instructions below to upgrade your turkey to the latest release.

Important Note for Verizon Customers : Verizon is often one or two releases behind when it comes to providing firmware updates because their chefs feel the need to pre-load the firmware image with several seasonings that customers never ask for on their turkey including pumpkin spice, ghost peppers, peppermint, gingerbread and lucky charms marshmallows. Sadly you cannot remove these seasonings before cooking however you may be able to cover most of them up with plenty of salt and pepper. It is strongly advised that you purchase a unlocked turkey and perform the updates before installing the Verizon SIM card.

1) Although Swanson said that Turkdos 10 will be the last poultry based OS to be released with future updates being released as small iterative updates, they seem to have released Turkdos 11 out of the blue which has limited support for some newer models of Butterball and Store Brand Turkeys. Interesting enough, Turkdos does not seem to support some of Swanson’s turkeys that are still on sale such as the Turkey Studio 2. If you have a desktop Turkey and wish to upgrade to Turkdos, you will need to ensure that you have a Turkey Production Monitor 2.0 (TPM 2.0) installed into a special header located on the inner breast of the turkey. Upgrading to Turkdos does offer some interesting features such as a rounded flavor profile and the ability to run some Chicken based applications. If instead you opt to use Turkux, you can already do all of these things on existing birds without the need to upgrade.

2) Thaw Turkey and Charge your turkey with your favorite seasonings. The CDC advises that any turkey that is older than 8 months old should wear a foil face mask to prevent the spread the heat while your turkey is updating. This upgrade can take a while so make sure you have plenty of Thyme set aside to finish the update.

3) Plug Turkey into a USB Port on your computer. Some newer Turkeys may have a Type C port under the left drumstick while legacy turkeys will need a special probe adapter. Please make sure you use a USB C cable that supports USB 3.1. Some Applewood Smoked Turkeys may have a new magnetic WingSafe charging port at the end of the left wing. If you are using a tofu or vegan turkey, please use the serial port located on the inside of the shipping container while discarding the fake turkey in the garbage can – the box likely has more flavor.

4) Download the drivers (Note to Butterball   users, please use “Giblets 7.4″ rather than”Giblets 7.9” as there are some severe security risks such as the leaking of the credit card number used to purchase the turkey or the contents of your “homework” folder. Please call the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line immediately if your Turkey goes into a bootloop or if the Turkey displays a “PTR25 – No Gravy” Error Message). This has been a problem for a while and it does not appear that Butterball intends to provide a updated firmware image.

5) Run the installer that you downloaded and allow up to 10 minutes for the Turkey to upgrade. It is important that you allow the update to finish or your turkey may try to walk away which may shame you into buying food on Uber Eats and making it appear home-cooked.

6) Optional : If you wish to root your turkey, boot it into recovery by folding down the right wing and left drum sticks for 15 seconds. Connect the Turkey and run “sudo fastcluck oem unstuff” in a terminal. It is important to note that this may void your recipe as this will break the wishbone to alert the manufacturer that you rooted your bird. This wishbone stays broken, even if you re-heat with the factory provided firmware.

7) Once complete install the Turkey Package into  Oven 3.4, Deep Fryer 2.2 or Smoker 4.7 and wait until delicious. If you only wish to compile a turkey breast, you may use a air fryer 3.7. You may want to sideload several additional side dishes such as corn, mashed potatoes, stuffing, tacos, sushi and cranberry sauce. Serves 4-10 people or one attention seeking Tik Tok star doing the next idiotic challenge.

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